I have spent much of June editing an anthology of quotations for use by public speakers. It is a joy. I am immersed in the wit and wisdom of those of great renown – from Aristotle to Zig Zigler – each of whom offers us the chance to feel connected to the human journey by relating their timeless sentiments and keen observations about life expressed in fantastically “user-friendly” snippets. Quotations are their legacies and we avail ourselves of them with impact and pride when we speak for work, in our communities and our places of worship. And as we remember them, their words resonate with our listeners. Quotations from the titans of the arts, world affairs, sports, literature and other distinctly human endeavors work like magic; the right one can instantly focus an audience or change the mood in the room. Over the twenty-five years I’ve worked with orators, the use of quotations has been bankable for making us sound smarter than our experiences and more educated than our degrees. Their pearls do more than adorn our remarks; they contribute to the precision and reception of our messages. The sparkle of their eloquence polishes our own. Quoting those who came before us is a win-win-win exercise.
I am also grateful for the good humor of my family, friends and associates during this project as my enthusiasm occasions me to send them the quotations I deem pertinent to whatever they enjoy, feel or might be doing this summer. My girlfriend received Marilyn Monroe’s priceless, “I’m selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can’t handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don’t deserve me at my best.” My cousin opened an email that shared the Sicilian proverb, Only the spoon knows what’s stirring the pot. And my beau and fellow empty-nester was the recipient of Mr. Roger’s, “Parenting forces us to get to know ourselves better than we ever might have imagined we could. We’ll discover talents we never dreamed we had … and as time goes on, we’ll probably discover that we have more to give and can give more than we ever imagined.” On my LinkedIn page I have called for and received my colleagues’ most cherished quotations. Their participation is an exciting and unexpected plus to my already enjoyable work.
But there is another gift this project has brought me. And that is the realization that what we mere muggles say – here and now – in our lifetimes, in our private lives – has the potential to resonate with future generations and with deeply meaningful consequences. This summer has been rich for me with my family “quoting me back to me” with appreciation. Last month, I was in an awkward spot when a friend asked me for help at a time when my own deadlines and commitments were pushing the limits of feasibility. Yet, I was uncomfortable saying a flat out, “no.” It was my twenty-one year old daughter who, in sensing my unease, jumped in and said, “Mom, ’no’ is the most important word in an adult’s vocabulary. The ability to say ‘no’ when we are overburdened is the very reason we can later say ‘yes.’” She sounded so mature. And I said as much. And she replied, “You taught me that. You say it whenever I am overwhelmed with school and work and need to recharge.”
This week, my brother made me ecstatic when he quoted me from a day of tremendous significance for him some twenty-one years ago. He had come to my (now late) husband and me to share that he was gay and about to come out to the family. He expressed concern about how life would go for him and I said (as he quoted me back to me), “Your life will be wonderful because it will be honest.” In response to my brother’s concerns about how the family would take his news, my husband—without hesitation—said, “If there is anyone who doesn’t support you or brings negative energy, just let them step-aside.“ Twenty one years later my brother is successful in every respect and a genuinely happily married man and sharing with me the maxims that made such a difference to him as he navigated the unchartered waters of the last two, very significant decades. I am so grateful I said what I said. I didn’t just think it. I said it out loud. I spoke and he heard me. That is effective communication. And it made a difference for someone I love.
Given my work on the quotations anthology, the irony is not lost on me that two giants – Dr. Seuss and Bernard Baruch – have both had the following words attributed to them: “Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.” I will continue my professional due diligence and get to rightful source of that sage phrase, but here, first, I note that my late husband’s expression of that axiom is what made an indelible and pivotal impact on my brother’s personal journey. That’s a legacy. That’s the kind us muggles can leave so they remember us, so they quote us, and so they feel confidently connected to the journey larger than their own – while we are here and then when we are gone.
Lisa Bernard is editing an anthology of quotations, proverbs and aphorisms for Cue Card Communications (www.CueCardCommunications.com) and wants to know, “What quotation, adage or proverb speaks to you?”